Laurel introduced me to “Bootie Guy” by way of apology. Apology and blame.

Apparently some time ago, Kid (who is currently four years old) helped pick out a greeting card for some occasion and was captivated by a character she calls “Bootie Guy.” She saw him on the card and decided that that HAD to be the card for the occasion.

Present day: When shopping for cards for my birthday, Kid found another greeting card featuring “Bootie Guy,” and that became her pick for my birthday card.

Laurel felt it was important for me to know that Kid chose this card all on her own. She also told me that Kid insisted she write the card in her own hand — which, I think, is both impressive and very sweet. She even insisted on addressing it to Anthony rather than Tony (she became fascinated with the name Anthony since learning that her friend’s new baby brother was given that name).

This conversation escorted me halfway home, and I was alone with my thoughts for the latter half. My tiny mind recalled that, years ago, my former wife and I gave (well, okay, mostly I gave) her brother a birthday card featuring a picture of a dark-haired, bearded, and moderately heavy-set man wearing basically an assless pair of jean shorts, cut very short and pulled up very high. At the time, such a card represented the pinnacle of low brow humor; a close cousin to the ever-popular fart card, of which my former BIL was quite the aficionado.

Could THIS be “Bootie Guy”? I wonder…

I’ve been looking for the image on GIS, using terms like “hillbilly man”, “hillbilly beard shorts”, “beard man shorts card”, “bearded man shorts ass card”, and others, with no result. The more qualifiers I have to add here, the sadder I get. The furthest I went was “hillbilly daisy dukes”, then I hadta call off the search. By the way, I fail to understand how images of President Obama and the car from Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang were retrieved using the aforementioned keywords (I’m lookin’ at YOU, Google).

Um…. stay tuned.